Return to Sender
by Eleture
Summary: An alternate, blangsty ending to Glee, Actually. Kurt can't deal with a broken heart and his father's news, so he asks Blaine to leave.


**Summary**: An alternate, blangsty ending to _Glee, Actually_. Kurt can't deal with a broken heart and his father's news, so he asks Blaine to leave.

TW: None to speak of.

A/N: Written for a prompt. Hope the anon likes it! Sorry it took so long to write! :)

**Return to Sender**

If he's going to be totally honest – _and he's promised himself that he will be from now on – _Blaine has been absolutely dreading Christmas.

It's the one day of the year that every builds up in their minds. It's the one day people look on others with pity and say '_but you can't be alone on Christmas' _like the other three-hundred and sixty four days of the year don't count.

What's one day in a year?

That's what he tries to convince himself anyway, but there's still this niggling hook in his heart that tugs at him, reminds him he wants to have something to come home to this year. When everyone else is sitting by the fireside with their families opening boxes filled with things they don't want, Blaine will be in bed trying not to wake up.

His parents are away, and Cooper is busy but that's not going to stop him trying to make the best of the day. He buys presents for everyone he knows - just small things - and wraps them in coloured paper, spends longer than he should tying little bows on them.

He puts on a smile and tells everyone his family will be home for Christmas. He lies through his teeth.

Then he goes home and decorates the tree by himself. It bothers him a little that there won't be anything under it next week. There's no one thinking of him this time. Not even Kurt.

He shoves the feelings aside. If this is his punishment then he'll bear it with grace.

He drives to the Hummel-Hudson house instead, because even though he's not dating Kurt anymore Burt and Carole are the closet things to parents he can ever remember having, and he loves them. If they don't want to see him that's fine, but it's a week from Christmas and he brought them stupid little presents to thank them for never trying to turn him straight and for always welcoming him into their home.

He lingers on the doorstep for a moment before he knocks. He's quite sure he'll be turned away, but he can't help himself. A part of him is still fighting for someone to care. He entertains this fantasy that they'll invite him to dinner, and for one night he'll pretend Kurt loves him and he has somewhere to belong.

Instead the door creaks open and he finds himself confronted with Carole Hudson clutching a tissue to her chest, tears streaming down her face. She heaves a little sob when she sees Blaine standing there and the gifts are forgotten, like the dreams.

He takes her inside, makes her tea, slips the presents under the tree in the living room with as much subtlety as he can muster and sits with her whilst she composes herself.

Then he learns that Burt has been diagnosed with cancer, and whilst Burt's okay for now Carole's a little scared. She pulls herself together remarkably well.

Blaine just sits with her making polite small talk, but when Burt comes home an hour later she hugs him closely and thanks him before brightly greeting her husband.

Burt sits down with them and Blaine flounders. When someone dies you give them your condolences, when someone gets cancer what exactly do you say?

It's then that Carole notices the gifts he didn't hide terribly well and sets off talking about Christmas. He shrugs it off and tells her his parents will be away. He can't lie to her.

Her eyes soften and she looks at him with pity, "Oh you can't be alone, honey. Finn and I are going to watch Christmas movies here, you should join us."

"No." Burt interrupts, and Blaine feels a little quiver of disappointment. Trashy movies had sounded a little heart-warming, but he nods jerkily and spins his coffee mug in his hands. "You should come with me to New York."

Blaine's head shoots up, gaping at Burt with wide eyes. "I- New York?"

"Yeah, I've gotta tell Kurt about all this, and well – I think he'll really appreciate seeing you."

Blaine isn't convinced, "I don't want to impose."

"Oh come on," Burt looks a little excited about the idea, "It can be my present to both you boys, I know you've had a rough patch but my kid loves you Blaine."

Blaine's cheeks flush with colour. The phone call on Thanksgiving had given him hope; maybe Kurt has mentioned something to Burt. Hope flutters in his chest.

He's going to see Kurt over the Christmas break. _Kurt. _

He tries not to imagine an open ice-skating rink and a duet. He tries not to think about lingering gazes and fleeting touches.

He tries not to imagine the most important person in the world being happy to see him, but he does it anyway.

He smiles the whole way to the airport, heart beating wildly. He carries Burt's luggage because Carole has mentioned she's worried about Burt's heart with the stress. He hails the taxi for Burt and puts the heavy bag there. They've discussed the plan a few hundred times on the plane with conspiring grins.

Burt is going to take some time to talk to Kurt alone about the cancer, and that's fair enough. It's Christmas Eve, so Blaine is taking his things with him to the ice rink to avoid ruining the surprise.

Burt is going to send Kurt over later, and Blaine will surprise him with their duet and a smile.

Even if Kurt will never love him again, Blaine will find new ways every day to be there for him.

Burt makes sure he knows his way and then they part ways and Blaine wanders New York City idly with his backpack practicing Christmas carols in his head, wondering which one Kurt will choose.

He scopes out coffee shops close by and the sits, trying not to be nervous and waits. He feels like he's going on a first date all over again.

To kill time, he locks his things in one of the lockers and hires skates. Even though he's exactly two and a half hours early he can't help but glance at the entrance, waiting for Kurt to come, waiting to surprise him.

His feet are numb and his nose is starting turn a little pink when Kurt finally appears. He watches Kurt as he glides towards him. His ex-boyfriend turns on the spot, looking for something, looking for _him. _

His heart swells and he almost crashes into the barrier in his excitement and then Kurt spins around and their eyes lock. Blaine remembers how to breathe. It's like his head is breaking the surface after weeks underwater.

"You are happy to see me, right?"

Kurt chokes, eyelids fluttering. "I – uh – Blaine?"

Blaine breathes in deeply and holds the oxygen in his lungs. He suspects he's about the start suffocating. Leaning forwards he rounds the barrier to stand in front of Kurt. "I came to make sure you didn't miss out on our Christmas tradition." It comes out as a rush of breath, hope filters into him somewhere.

Kurt blinks at him. "My father has cancer."

"I know." Blaine isn't sure what to do, he can see Kurt floundering under the shock of his sudden arrival.

"And you want me to _sing _with you?"

Blaine's eyes widen, "Only if you want to."

"I don't."

Blaine's heart stops beating.

"I'm sorry Blaine." Kurt has tears in his eyes, "I can't do this, not right now. Blaine – I – I'm so happy to see you but I _can't _right now. Could you – can this – can you just give me some space? Please?"

Blaine stays rooted to the spot as Kurt turns away from him and heads back out to the street.

Without thinking, he pulls his skates off and returns them, walks back to the lockers and collects his backpack stuffed with clothes and toiletries and presents for Kurt. He slides his shoes back on.

He wanders for a moment. He makes it to Central Park before he realises he has _nowhere_ to go.

Without Kurt bringing him home, just like they'd planned, Blaine has no back-up options.

He has no one.

His heart falls, sort of floats really, to the floor, like snow. White flurries swept up by the wind are abandoned. They tumble to the street and are crushed under foot as he walks with no destination in mind.

The cold bites at his skin, but he keeps going, tries to lose himself. His tears warm his skin, and he shuffles to sit down on the bench, curls his legs up to his chest and watches children chasing their dog across the snowy grass.

Laughter rings in his ears. It sounds so foreign.

When the last stretch of sunlight vanishes in the sky he picks himself up, shakes his stiffening limbs and wanders back into town. He's underage. He can't hire a hotel room without an adult, so he does the only thing he can think of. He pays for a cab to the airport, books a ticket back to Ohio for the following morning on his phone, passes the security point and finds the corner of the airport where there's a number of other people sleeping in chairs or on the floor waiting for their flights.

Blaine spends Christmas Eve on the cold tiles of New York's airport, and he wishes he were at home alone. Wishes he'd trusted his instincts and kept his distance. Kurt wasn't ready for this.

Blaine closes his eyes and tries to imagine the empty Anderson house and the tree without presents.

A broken home is better than a broken heart.

People always tell him he can't be alone for Christmas. He never thought he'd wish he was.

—- _fin —-_


End file.
